Do You Speak English?

Don't get me wrong! I don't want to make fun of anybody's english. After all, it is a second language for me, too. But this collection of signs from around the world is priceless. I found them on the site
http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/mangeng.htm. Do you have any to add yourself?
* Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well speaking.
Here speeching America.
* In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
* Seen in a Yugoslav hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
*In a Tokyo car rental agency:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
*On the menu of a Polish restaurant:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
* From a Russian airline safety brochure:
Crew's action to suppress the possible incident will be urgent and drastic up to fulfilment of the expensive forced landing. Besides the juridical consequences, infringer will be obliged to pay an impressive fine to compensate the waste.
*In the Restaurant des Artistes, Montmarte, Paris:
We serve five o' clock tea at all hours.
*Notice in a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
*In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
*In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
*From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
*In the window of a Rhodes tailor:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
*In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
*In an East African Newspaper
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
*Caption under a photo of a local rural dance in the former USSR:
Young men's balls in full swing.
*From A Hotel in Germany
In the event of fire the visitor, avoiding panic, is to walk down the corridor to warn the chambermaid.
*Sign in Egyptian hotel:
If you require room service, please open door and shout, "Room service!"